How to Make Friends and Turn Them Into Customers

Remember when you were five years old and your mother told you, "Don't talk to strangers?" Well Momma didn't know you were going to grow up to be a business owner and would need to master the art of talking to strangers to grow your business! People love their comfort zone. And in fact we will go a long way to avoid discomfort. The idea of making a presentation in public is the number one fear in the U.S. And it's not just making a speech that is causing panic. For many people, anxiety strikes when we present our ideas in front of other people. "Anytime people make verbal remarks that need to be clear and persuasive, we find widespread reports of stage fright and nervousness," says Paul Witt, PhD, professor of communication studies at a Texas University. But you're a business owner and you need to meet new people to make new customers. How do you do it?

Group Training-Wheels
Whether in a movie or real life we've all seen the stereotypical scene of a bunch of construction workers whistling at female passersby. Do you think if there was only one guy, he would behave the same way? Maybe, but most men would not. Why? They don't have the protection of the group. People can "hide in plain sight" in a group. Mobs collectively do things individuals would never think of doing alone.

The Dale Carnegie Public Speaking Course has an interesting exercise that plays on this natural reality. They don't force you to stand up in front of everyone and speak on the first day. Instead they make half the class get up to the front and just recite their names. After everyone is done, the entire group sits down. This is easier for people at the beginning because they are sharing the scary experience with others. Each week as the class goes on, your group gets smaller and smaller until eventually you have developed the confidence to speak in front of the group by yourself. Then the class is asked to list all of the things you did RIGHT - not what you did wrong. The more you speak, coupled with positive reinforcement, the more confident you become and the easier it gets.

Find Your Group
You can adapt the same teaching technique to your small business. The first step is picking a support group to help you over the rough spots. Let's say you are new in town - how do you meet people? Well most likely you met a realtor when you moved. Maybe you will be attending a church locally. When it comes to business, start by thinking community or hobbies. Follow the "50 butt" rule. If there are more than 50 butts in the room - yours should be in there with them! Even if you just sit, you will eventually be noticed and approached by someone who is interested in you're views on things. Good groups to check out...Kiwanis, United Way, Salvation Army, Municipal Advisory Councils, Town Meetings, Lions Club, Local Chamber of Comerce, School Board, School Booster Clubs, Garden Clubs, Dog Clubs, Cooking Groups, etc. Wherever you go, people will eventually want to get to know you...let them!

Relationship Building
Build on these relationships. Build on the strength of the group. What do they do in their spare time? What groups do they belong to? Find the friendliest person in the room and build on them. Drop hints that you would like to get involved in the community or the church but aren't sure how to do it. A friend of mine moved to a small town in Idaho. He didn't know anyone so he joined the local Chamber of Commerce and the Kiwanis club. Right away he volunteered to help with Business Support Committee for the chamber. Between these two groups he began to build his business. Withing three years he was serving on the Board of Directors for both the Chamber and the United way and is currently a past president of the Kiwanis. He also teaches adult education classes and writes business articles for the local newspaper. He attributes most of his business and current customers to connections he made helping out with these groups.

How to Turn Friends Into Customers
The great thing - or maybe the worst thing - about small towns is you can become well known very quickly. It's very important that your first impression be a positive one. Become an asset to any group you become affiliated with. Don't take over, but take on responsibility and make sure you follow up on everything asked of you.

We all want to support our friends. As people become more comfortable with you, you can begin to develop a business relationship with them. One place to start - Everyone within walking distance of your home or apartment should have your business card. In fact, give them two cards - one to keep and the other to pass along to a friend. These people are you neighbors. We want to support our neighbors. We have a common existance with them. Similar challenges and successes. Job, mortgage, kids, bills etc. Let them know what you're doing and even more importantly, ask what they do and become a customer of theirs.

Don't erase all of your hard work by selling a bogus product or service. Your friends, more than anyone, expect and deserve honesty and quality for their hard earned money. Your product and service quality should reinforce the relationship. If something is not right, make it right...immediately! Your friends are going to know people you don't know. I certainly make an effort to recommend my friends and I hope they will do the same.

Practice...Say Goodbye to Your Comfort Zone
The major challenge to making new friends is fear so you have to leave that comfort zone. Meet people halfway with a smile and a hello to get the ball rolling. I was in a discount store a short time ago and there was a couple behind me with two shopping carts full of towels. I made the comment, "You must be really clean people." They and several other people in line laughed. The ice was broken. We started a conversation and I discovered that they were opening a chiropractic clinic nearby. We exchanged business cards. I met two new people...potential customers.

Notice that the title of this blog was not "How to turn your customers into friends." The "friend" part should be your first objective. This keeps conversation and interest genuine rather than every conversation becoming a sales pitch for yourself. Show interest in others and they'll ask the questions in return. No matter how electronic our society gets, the skills of communication are priceless to a business owner.